I do admit that I have held grudges towards people who have “done me wrong”. As far as the grudges are concerned, many happened during my 17-year career working in the insurance industry.

There were superiors who would say some “not-so-nice things” about my abilities. While many of them knew that I was well-educated, well-spoken, hardworking, resourceful and extremely loyal, it seemed like those traits were not enough. I was also a female, under age 40 (at the time), AND a minority who was working in a male-dominated industry. I GET IT…I DIDN’T FIT THE MOLD.

Over the course of my career, I found myself trying to validate my abilities because I didn’t want to hear condescending remarks. My goal was to prove that I was capable. I became tougher and more outspoken. After the hurt, who wouldn’t feel like a rock? I felt a lot of anguish in my heart.

When I started to do great things, those same people, who were once condescending towards me, started to respect me. Yet, I still held those grudges because I was hurting from the things they said to me in the past. I carried these grudges in my heart for many years. It was hard for me to FORGIVE.

When I decided to start The Wellness Institute a few years back, the same thing happened. I ran into people who would “poo poo” my vision. I ran into the kindest people (at least I thought they were) until something didn’t go their way. And when things got sour, they chose to slam my reputation. Yes, it’s hard to FORGIVE those people, too.

My absolute favorite is when people fabricate stories about you on the internet. They use fake profiles or have other people write stories about you. Believe me, it’s hard to forgive those people. In the past, I would wish that something awful would happen to them. Now, I ask that God help them become better people, and help them realize that they did hurtful things to me and to others.

I also realized that some of the grudges I held was from two decades ago. I don’t even remember what happened AND I don’t feel the pain anymore. It’s true that “TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS”.

I used to lash out at people who were condescending, insulting, or were simply on a “power trip”. What I do now is take out my anger via an intense workout like kickboxing. Not only is it great for my physique, but it’s a great tool to get that anger out as you “kick, punch, jab & round house kick”. I also sit and meditate. Releasing negative energy through deep breathing is extremely therapeutic.

PRIDE is a huge reason why it’s hard to forgive. We need to remember that when we forgive, it doesn’t mean that we are okay with the past wrong doings of others. The pain and negativity were real…you were hurt.

We can’t change what happened in the past. We have to accept it for what it is. Think of it as an experience that helped you grow. I do admit that those condescending people actually helped me become who I am today. It made me work harder and smarter.

There are many reasons to FORGIVE:
• It feels SO much better than hate. Once you FORGIVE, you will feel a sense of peace. That weight on your shoulders is lifted.

• It allows you to completely free yourself from the situation, whether it be bad business dealings or family disagreements.

• It opens your life to HAPPINESS and PEACE.

LIGHT will enter your life, and you’ll attract POSITIVE ENERGY and POSITIVE EXPERIENCES.

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Edna Dimataga-Fernandez
Edna Dimataga-Fernandez founded The Wellness Institute in 2013. The company utilizes a holistic model of wellness consulting focusing on the 6 dimensions of organizational well-being: physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual & financial health. The Wellness Institute provides holistic health assessments, corporate well-being workshops & wellness consultations with holistic health practitioners. Wellness-Spring, the company’s holistic health store, sells organic & non-toxic health & beauty products. A portion of the proceeds is donated back to causes that support women, children, health, wellness & education. She has worked & consulted for companies in the insurance & financial services industry, the medical & behavioral health field and the non-profit sector. Edna holds a B.A. in Economics from UCLA and an MBA from Keller Graduate School of Management. She is a Past President (2010-11) of the National Association of Insurance & Financial Advisors - Los Angeles Chapter and is an approved Continuing Education Provider for the California Department of Insurance.